Have you ever watched those home shows where they have bought a dilapidated house and turned it into a show piece? It is certainly fascinating to watch. However, what if one of those houses has former ghost inhabitants that just do not want to leave?
Author Michael Phillip Cash’s newest book, The Flip is all about a house flip going terribly wrong.
“Julie and Brad Evans are house flippers. They buy low, clean out the old occupants junk, and try to make a profit. Enter Hemmings House on Bedlam Street in scenic Cold Spring Harbor, Long Island. Too good a deal to pass up, but with an ominous secret. The old Victorian Mansion has dwellers that do not want to be dispossessed. As the house reveals it’s past, will the couples marriage survive The Flip?”
I read this book already and I can tell you myself that it is a fantastic book that will keep you at the edge of your set. This isn’t my normal genre but I love house flipping shows, and I have read a couple of Michael Phillip Cash’s other books, so I decided to give it a try and I am really glad I did! I couldn’t book this book down. Every time I thought I had the story line figured out I was wrong. Even at the end there was a twist that caught me by surprise!
Just in time for Memorial Day weekend and looking toward the Summer, Michael Phillip Cash wants to introduce The Flip to the world at large. The author is generously giving a great and fun prize pack that will set the winner up right for Summer fun in the sun.
One winner will receive all of the following:
*A copy of his book, The Flip
*A screen printed beach towel
*A bottle of sunscreen
*A tote to hold it all
*$100 Paypal cash
Would you like to win this great prize? All you have to do is enter in the Rafflecopter below. Good luck!
Where you can find Michael Phillip Cash:
Rules and disclosure:
This giveaway has been arranged and promoted by Away We Go Media. YOUR BLOG HERE was asked to promote this great giveaway on behalf of Michael Phillip Cash. No monetary compensation was given or received for this promotion.
There will be one winner for this giveaway picked at random by Rafflecopter.org. Winner must be at least 18 years of age to enter and have a Paypal account.
Winner must respond with full mailing address and Paypal account information within 48 hours of an email sent or forfeit prize.
The giveaway will be from May 25, 2014 at 12 AM MST-June 9, 2014 12 AM MST
The giveaway is open to U.S. only.
Stop the Bullying – Stop the Violence – Stop the Abuse – Stop the Silence!
Here I set at my desk Sunday night excited for more then one reason. One we are facing my daughter bringing new life into the world in just about 18 weeks, and my birthday is in just about 5 weeks. So, with these two celebrations of life in the horizon I figured it would be a great time to start a campaign to take a project I have been working on to the next level. I am very passionate about Educating others on Bullying in society. It isn’t just in the school yard anymore. 1 in every 3 students have suffered from some form of bullying.
Yet, sadly many parent still take the outlook that “kids will be kids”. I want to bring light on this very serious topic! I want to make these parents and others realize that it isn’t just a case of “kids being kids” that it is harassment, abuse, and yes sometimes, way to often, violence!
It also isn’t just in the school yard as stated above, it is on the phone, on the internet, the malls, in our homes, on our streets, etc. Plus, it isn’t just children, it is adults too and our elderly. It is time we educate those who are turning a blind eye or just don’t understand. It is time to make a difference for our children and for humanity herself!
Help make it happen for Stop the #Bullying #Violence #Abuse & Silence! on at Indiegogo http://t.co/6v4akZDc1a
What do you want from your relationship with God? This is a line I saw when I was looking through my email today. This question could be asked in a different manner and confuse so many people but really mean the same thing. What do you want from your own spiritual path? Your own spiritual self?
Many different religious practices play the childish game, he loves me more than he does you, When in truth the being who is called God, for the sake of this writing, is all loving and loves no one person, no one religious sic any more than the other. After all was it not, Christ who bent down and washed the foot of his own mother and covered a prostitute with his own body to keep her from being stoned?
In my opinion these different religions need to study their own writings and teachings, because each one are based on the same foundation of “rules”, and belief system. I found a while back it really comes down to what it is YOU want to get out of your own relationship with your own spiritual self and that connection you have with yourself and the faith that you have with the path you walk.
Am I saying there is no greater being to worry about? NO I am not saying that. For many it is God, others a Goddess, for some Great Spirit/Mystery and so many other names. I was taught that there is ONE true beloved one and this great being can take any form for s/he is great light of infinity. S/he will take on the form you believe him/her to be and that you pray too. So, again what do YOU want to get out of your connection to your own spiritual self and spiritual path?
Another aspect to look at is, we are a bit of the great one, so to learn what it is we want form our own spiritual self and spiritual path, we are learning what it is we want from him/her and our relationship with him/her. Does the bible not say: God created mankind in his own image? Then to build a relationship with our own spiritual self we are building a relationship with him/her. It isn’t even the Christan path that believes oneness with their creator: Muslims teaches the oneness of Allah. Wiccans believe that we are apart of everything around us and that our god and goddess is also all around us, so again to build a relationship with ourselves we are building a relationship with him/her.
For me, what do I see as wanting from my own spiritual self, spiritual path? Will what I decided a long time ago and the reason I started studying religions and to be ordained is because, I want to transform myself into a will balanced spiritual being, one that is grounded in the world around me, one that is intuned to my family and friends. I want to be intuned to nature and the animals my creator blessed this Earth with, I want to be intuned with our Mother the Earth. It sometimes hurts really bad this day and age to be so intuned to all these things because so many people are so careless with our gifts that the creator gives to us, but then I just remember to be so intuned to myself and to these gifts I am being intuned to my Father and I am growing my relationship with him and with our Mother.
I have been asked before if it causes a conflict in me to study so many different religions and my answer is no, how could it? If one concentrate on those things that is truly important and not on those things that are not, such as greed, vanity, “no other religions are right, except ours” then how can any religion be wrong? For all religions teach the basic rules: Love thy neighbor as you would yourself, Respect all living creatures, Thou shall not lie/steal from thy fellow humankind. These might not be written as “commandments in each religion but they are taught as basic foundations with in each religion. Again, how can one be confused when studying them all if they follow the basic rules of life and of the greatest being of us all?
With this in mind I close today’s blog: Much Love and Respect to one and all my friends!
Reflections of Life and Death:
I write a journal daily and this blog is going to focus on one of my entries. I wrote about reflections. Not like the reflection in a shiny surface, but the kind we have when we look back at the past. In particular my reflections have been on death and birth recently. Why this subject have I been concentrating this subject of late? Will for a few reasons but the main ones are, one of my daughters is about to have a baby in July, the other one lost a baby about a year ago, and I just had a very bad health scare about a week ago. All this has me thinking of all my beloved, and not so beloved family members who have passed before me, back at each of the funerals I have been to and my own reaction to each.
I read a book in collage that spoke of “The Reflection of Death” mentions how with practice we must change our mind-set on death. Looking back I realize when my interest in death and what happens after death began. I also realized how different my reactions have been each time. Part of this difference was due to age, but I truly believe part of the difference has to do with my own journey and studies into religion and spirituality.
At the first funeral I attended was my sister’s funeral. My sister died, she was 14 years old and I was 13, and I remember hearing they found her dead in a pasture after being missing for several days. I never really had chance then to grieve her death because when ever I would start to cry my step-brother would tell me to pull it together that my parents needed me to be strong for them. So, I had plenty of time to sit down by the creek or taking long walks and thinking about death and what happens after death with out grief getting in the way.
The day of the funeral I was told the casket was to remain closed, but when I stood up to walk towards the back of the room someone opened the casket and I freaked out. I started running away from the casket and screaming. I really didn’t know why I was running away and screaming, I just knew that I didn’t want to see my sister dead, even though I had been taught growing up that when one dies they leave the body behind like a snake leaving their skin. At that moment when I ran from my sister’s funeral is when I decided to study what different religions believe about death.
Reflecting back upon this reaction now, I think my reaction was in part due in part not being allowed to grieve but also due to three other factors.
- The fact that I was only 14 and she was15, we were Irish twins and pretty darn close not only in age.
- She had been murdered and by the time they had her funeral they had not caught the person who did it and there was whispers that that person might be at the funeral. Imagine what that does to a 14 year old imagination, who already has a very vivid imagination.
- I was scared of death because I didn’t understand it, spirituality, or faith. So, I reacted to at her funeral with fear, instead of grief and mourning.
By the time I attended the next funeral which was 20 years later I had studied many different religions and what their thoughts were on death. The Baptist believes that you die and either goes to heaven or hell, depending on how you lived your life. In Catholicism they believe something very similar, except that you can get into heaven even if you lived a horrible life just by asking for forgiveness at the moment of your death. Then there is the Jehovah Witness who believes that when you die, your body is buried and nothing more happens.
I had not spoken to my father for over 15 years due to a misunderstanding and had just spent two years previously discussing life with him. While getting to know my father, all over again, he told me about my ancestry. He also said; “Your mother and I taught you to be your own person. You need to start traveling the path that is your destiny. Start really living life, instead of dying within the life you are pretending to have”.
When I received the call that my father had died, I couldn’t stop crying. I did everything I could to be at his funeral, including borrowing money. The day of his viewing I cried almost constant, then literally fill apart as they closed his casket. I fill apart to the point of having to be carried out of the funeral home and put into his wife’s truck. After the grave side service I stayed behind to grieve and to say goodbye to him and to my sister again, who gravestone was right next to my father‘s new grave. In a blink of an eye my grieving switched to rage. I started yelling
at my sister telling her she had won again. Once again she had dad with her and I was left without a father. After screaming at my sister’s gravestone for about 30 minutes and exhausting myself. I laid there on the ground between my sister and father’s graves crying and feeling so lost. I realized I wasn’t really angry AT my sister, I grieving for both of them. I was grieving for my father’s passing, for the loss of the previous 15 years I would never get back, and I was finally grieving my sister’s death.
As I said above was grieving, but I also was angry not at my sister, but because I had lost my sister 20 years previously, had not been allowed to grieve for her at the time, I had lost out on knowing my father because of a stupid misunderstanding, and because I had just lost my father after having a chance to get to know him from an adults point of view. But also because I was realizing my life as I had known it was changing, my marriage to my ex, for eight years was dying.
Yes, I was grieving the loss of many things in my life but not out of totally selfish reasons. I realized at this moment what my belief was about life and death. I believed that only their bodies laid here at these gravestones. Their spirits were free to start again and I would be seeing them in another form sometime in the future. After all our souls were connected and will remain so for all eternity. I know this because I could feel both of them as I lay there. I knew they were there watching over me, soothing me, loving me.
I went back to New York and ended my eight years of marriage and started a journey that leads me to where I am today. I also continued my studies in life and death, in religions, and other studies. Because I was more sure then ever of what my beliefs were, I knew I could make it though the rough points, after all I had my faith, and my father’s words to help me make it through.
Then in May of 2005 we received call that my brother had died in a car accident. I held my mom while she cried, I cried when I heard my older sister scream “Oh My God, not my brother”, but I didn’t cry for my brother. I spent time alone thinking about why I wasn’t crying. I reasoned that it was because we hadn’t been close, physically or emotionally for a very long time.
Yet, at his funeral I became aware that, the fact that we were not close, and had our differences, was only part of the reason I didn’t cry. The other half of the reason was I knew it was his time. I also knew that we would meet again at another time or on another plain when the time was right. He was just closing the door to his old life, and the shell he used during this life which was ravaged with alcoholism, drugs, anger, and bitterness was buried and now he was free of these problems and free to start his new life. Death is only an illusion in which we close one door and open another to a new beginning.
The last deaths I have fast so far in my life, and hopefully the last ones I will have to face before it is my time, other then my sweet grand babies were my mother’s and sister’s death which were with-in a month of each other. My mother was my best friend and greatest mentor, she died in April of 2010 of Lung Cancer which spread to her heart and brain. I took care of her and watched her weather away. It was hard for me, but not as hard if I had not had my faith I clung too. The day she passed I sat by her side that whole day and night until she took her last breath. I was the only child out of 4, who was able to be there. Two had already passed before her and my sister had her own handful with a husband who had cancer. I took care of the house we had to close down, the funeral arrangements etc. I did not have time to grieve or feel any type of emotions except to think about the days before that I had spent with her. I went over those days as I went through her things at the house. We held a give away and had her friends come and take a memorial piece they wanted to keep in memory of mom, we donated to the blind association etc. I didn’t even cry when we scattered part of her ashes at the base of a tree in her favorite park over looking Lake Erie, per her request. I did however allow myself sometime to cry and grieve on the train back to NYC, where I was living at the time. I reflect on this now and again I believe the lack of tears and what seems like the lack of grief was my knowing my mom was not in that shell any longer, she was not racked with pain, she was free to see her other children, to visit the man she loved, and to to start what other life was waiting for her. The as I said my sister died a month later by car accident. Again tears did not come, only the feeling of loss.
This does not mean I do not grieve or fear death for others in my life, such as, my wife, my daughter, and the new grandchild on the way. My fear is not of the Illusion of death, but pure selfishness on my part. I do not feel my time with them is through, that we have many things still to do in this life to do together. I was told once that the day you are born is the day you begin to die. I truly believe this is wrong, for in my studies and my own life I have come to the conclusion that the day you are born is the day you begin to live, until you die then you are born again into another life in which you begin again until you reach the ultimate enlightenment. Then you become an enlightened being who watches over others not only in life but in death.
Lots of changes have been taking place already this new year, 2014: Biggest change is I am moving out of the studio space I have occupied for more then two years. Main (ST)udios is changing as well and renovating into a space I feel won’t fit my needs, so I am moving out. Right now I will be working mainly out of my home while much of my finished art will be stored in a storage unit and sold on a website I am working on and Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TrinityHawksMinishop.
I have a new Assistant – she is young and a very intelligent lady who is very much a go getter. We both are looking forward to once this move is finished, getting down to the business of creating art. I am going to teach her how to create art on the computer, my families traditional bead work, and I have already said I am going to put her to work on organizing my receipts and paperwork – to which she actually was excited about. – go figure – LOL
My Heart daughter has gone into the hospital today, 1/8/2014 to have her daughter. We are all very excited about this addition! Plus, my biological daughter found out she was expecting at Thanksgiving, gave us yet one more thing to count as a blessing. She is due in July, would be wonderful if she had my grandbug on our wedding anniversary (which happens to be my mother’s birthday) July 11th.
Back to the fact that I am leaving my studio behind, part of what made this decision for me is the fact that I have been reinstated for SSI (supplementary Social Security). The government acknowledged once again that I am disabled due to my Fibro, RA, debilitating Cupual Tunnel, and back issues. However, I only get SSI not full disability because I am self employed have been for numbers of years and do not have enough “credits”. These are credits they mark down on your record for how long you have worked apparently, and according to their “records” I haven’t worked enough hours in my life to qualify for full disability.
However, I have worked in some fashion or another since I was 11/12 years old. The thing is to prove this fact is not one that is easy to do, and in my case at 46 years of age, is nearly impossible. As my wife and I have learned the Government does not keep very good records, they lose records regularly, and one MUST read what is sent you not just take for granted they will know what is going on. We received paperwork recently that said I was addicted to Vicodin, she hadn’t worked at all in June of 2013, and that I reside in a subsidized housing (um no I don’t).
So, with all this going on and needing to constantly be on the alert and keep the paperwork trail correct for the government we have decided it would be best if I go part time and retire part time. We will see how this plan works out..as we all know I am a work freak and do not sit still very well.
In the center of all this I am continuing my meditation and trying to find my peaceful center. For I know to find the peace is to find that place where everything will fall into place. I also know that the perfect diamond in all its’ beauty and uniqueness is created from Charcoal under stress and pressure other wise it only remains dark, black charcoal.
I will keep you updated on how the changes are coming along – until that time here is one of my new pieces:
I hope you like it. Feel free to lave comments and thoughts.
Peace and Happiness to one and all – blessings to you and yours in the New Year!
May you have a Happy Holiday Season and a Very Blessed New Year!
The season of love and giving is here & I want to wish each of you a happy and healthy holiday season from my family to yours. I also want to take this time to say thank you for reading my blog(s). My holidays are filled with that much more happiness because of each of you. I have truly enjoyed writing each blog and hearing back from each of you through out the year.
To help this blog continue to grow into the coming year copy & paste the url
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Greetings My Blog Readers and Followers:
I once again apologize for such a long pause between posts. I have had one electronic issue after another this past few months, two hard drives crashed, a lap top crashed etc. I have felt like I am in the middle of a electronic apocalypse. Instead of my electronics taking over they have refused to work for me to the point of crashing, right down to the point of refusing to turn on and losing all my art work and data. My electronics are killing me slowly by killing my data right in front of me. Thank goodness that I have a client I work for writing and posting fashion blogs, www.fashionmania.com, because she came to my rescue this weekend.
The topic I wanted to write about is one a fellow artist and I have been discussing and debating about and that is what is the difference between Illustration and Fine art. This is a debate that has been going on for years in the art world. Some of the definitions I found on the internet are:
The distinction lies in the fact that art is the idea (brought to life) while an illustration is a depiction (or explanation) of an idea.
In modern illustration the intent is most often the selling of a product. When something noble is put to ignoble ends, there is a deterioration of value.
According to Illustrator Robert Weaver who once stated;
Until the illustrator enjoys complete independence from outside pressure and direction, complete responsibility for his own work, and complete freedom to to do whatever he deems fit– all necessaries in the making of art– then illustration cannot be art but only a branch of advertising.
As many different styles of art there is such a fine line between these two styles, according to my art class an Illustration is an aspect of the imagination that subordinates itself to a story or concept in order to realize a visual equivalent of the verbal idea. Illustration is description executed in a graphic manner rather then literal mode. Whereas artists and illustrators commonly work from the same stock of ideas, they both work from imagination, yet the artist use imagination in its purer sense; – not to describe visually what can be described verbally within a story, but to compose with a more essentially pictorial logic, thinking through images not words.
To me illustration art is more pictorial drawings, and fine art is more imagination centered, from the artist imagination for the viewer’s imagination. This is not to say that fine art does not have a specific meaning or came from a muse, but when viewed the viewer can walk away with their own emotions embedded within the art work not just the specific meaning that is story derived. Take some of the Fine Art Greats; Van Gogh – his works were taken from the world around him but also from within his own head. He saw that world around him, took it in, “twisted it around” before allowing it to flow out to his canvas. Yet, each of us view his work and are moved by our own world of emotions, which we embed into his world painted there on the canvas.
Yet, a great Illustrator like Boris V. takes his paintings/drawings from models and stories that is given to him, such as a, story board music album, books, etc. and places it into picture. This is not to say that either Van Gogh or Boris V. are better at being an artist then the other, they are different styles of art. One moves moves the viewer emotions and the imagination of the inner being, while the other stirs excitement and the imagination of the story.
When you look at Starry night you see a small town under a swirling sky and a bright starry sky in the presence of a looming dark mountain, with out Van Gogh’s title “Starry Night”, however, the viewer may of come up with other ideas of this pictures such as stormy night, due to the swirling paint strokes of white and the stream of smoke coming from the chimneys. There is no back story, no story line, just visual imagination which leaves the viewer to feel the emotion within the painting and develop a story deeper within the painting.
While Boris V. Painting “Magic Ring” could be titled by a laymen, by simply looking at the painting/photograph. The model is holding up her hand and pointing her fisted hand out to a flying dragon and magical force is emitting from either her fist or a ring she is wearing. So, the painting itself is centered around this one force, this one item which is the center of the story line, which in the long run is the center of the illustration. You can learn more about Boris V. here
What do I think? I think there is no real difference, I think that line between Illustration and Fine art is a romantic illusion. This line between Illustrator and fine art has nothing to do with the talent of the artist, or the quality of the work, or its morality, or its intelligence, or even the style of art. It is far too easy to identify examples of illustration that are superior to “fine” art in each of these categories, just as it is easy to identify examples of fine art that are superior to illustration. It hardly takes any effort to puncture any of the theories that have been put out there about these two works, or the categorical distinctions between the two types of work.
The art world creates this illusion due to the class and economic status of the artist, the art world is made up of networking, who knows who, and who can afford what. Fine Art Artist get noticed by those who are able to travel more often, pay submission fees to get into more art shows, belong to more art committees, art networks, etc. Illustrators are those who work in the field that take commissions, produce prints, etc. – in a sense mass produce as much as possible.
Take for example; For the first 30,000 years of art, artists were able to earn a decent living working for kings, priests, pharaohs and popes. Art was commissioned for temple walls and public spaces. It adorned palaces and royal tombs and the homes of aristocrats. Then kings began to disappear from the earth. Popes stopped commissioning new art. They were replaced by a new commercial class, fueled by the birth of capitalism and the invention of the corporation. This class became the new patrons of arts. It’s important to emphasize here that although art buyers and subject matter changed, the quality of the work did not.
Artists adapting to the new business realities yet they found two paths:
The first was to produce what we now call “fine” or “gallery” art for the private class and corporate art collections.
The second path opened as a result of the newly invented printing press: rather than selling a picture to a wealthy patron, artists could now make multiple copies of a picture and sell them for smaller amounts to larger numbers of (less-wealthy) purchasers.
Looking at it this way, Illustration could be considered any artwork that is mass produced or which uses technology to create it, because I assure you if this option had existed during the golden age of Greece or the early Italian Renaissance, the greatest artists would have taken full advantage of it. In fact, when the invention of etching first emerged, some of the greatest artists, such as Durer and Rembrandt, quickly embraced it, and Rembrandt turned to etching as away to sell multiple copies of a single image to Dutch Merchants. In this sense, this would make Rembrandt an Illustrator as well as a Fine Artist, No?
Perhaps the real definition between the two arts is Illustration Art generally reaches a broader audience while selling for lower price, and Fine Art reaches a smaller audience while selling for a much higher price?
I have always considered myself a Fine Art Artist – but during my discussion with my fellow artist he defined me as an Illustrator – once again that fine line waving back and forth…
What is your thoughts on the differences of these two arts? Those who have seen my art, which would you title it?
I have been busy with a back injury but also with two sites that will hopefully make some money in around about way of getting my art noticed. AS my blog is not getting even a single donation (there is a donation button to the right). I also sell ad space for $5 a spot that includes the ad being created for you.
But, until then = Please feel free to click the link (s) and cruise my art sites I am working on to show of my variety of art work. Don’t hesitate to leave a comment or two.
Unscheduled Absence & Some Truth Telling:
I want to apologize for being missing in action for so long – I have been dealing with some medical issues and some family issues which have kept me from posting.
I have been working on a few art pieces and a few filters when I have been able – those long sleepless nights – while sitting letting my mind go over issues, worries (which I know worries only borrow trouble) and trying to calm the pain which has decided to rack my body the past few weeks.
When I am overwhelmed with so much I sometimes forget where to turn and start to spiral downwards. Today, this morning as I was doing my “make the bed – sit down and breath, let the pain subside – vacuum one room – sit down and breath, and let the pain subside etc..on and on – It came to me that my ancestors did this when they were hurt many years ago. Yet, they added one more step that I have forgotten to add in my daily routine – to help my recharging and healing.
Reach out to the great power – study what my greater power would do in a time like this (or have me do). Find time to be spiritual.
What do Buddha’s teachings say about great times of pain and suffering? He teach us that during great times of suffering we are working our way towards ending that suffering or we can wallow in the suffering. There are 8 steps in ending the suffering.
1. Right View. The right way to think about life is to see the world through the eyes of the Buddha–with wisdom and compassion.
I myself, must admit I am having some problems with this first step, more so then I have in a long time. I am really struggling with looking at the world through Buddha’s eyes with Wisdom and Compassion. I see the world full of Hatred and Greed. Human’s that are Greedy, Ugly Individualistic Beings.
2. Right Thought. We are what we think. Clear and kind thoughts build good, strong characters.
Due to struggling with 1. – 2. is also a struggle. I am generally a very positive thinker, very passive and straight forward person. Think of what you want your outcome to be and work towards it. Yet, do to my struggling with the first step in this focus – this 2. step has started to faultier and I am losing my hope and dreams in all my passion in life.
3. Right Speech. By speaking kind and helpful words, we are respected and trusted by everyone.
*smile* – I do this still but it is, in all honesty, a mask. But, a well practiced mask.
4. Right Conduct. No matter what we say, others know us from the way we behave. Before we criticize others, we should first see what we do ourselves.
This is not a problem generally – even now. I try really hard not to criticize others. For I feel their decisions and path are their choosing, not mine. Even if I am feeling as I am now, and I feel a remark near the front of my mouth, I bite my tongue and say not what my mind says. For it is not my place, I have had to many people criticize me be it their place or not.
5. Right Livelihood. This means choosing a job that does not hurt others. The Buddha said, “Do not earn your living by harming others. Do not seek happiness by making others unhappy.”
*chuckle* – will this by any means is not a problem. I am not working and that which I have chosen for a job seems to be the butt of everyone’s joke.
6. Right Effort. A worthwhile life means doing our best at all times and having good will toward others. This also means not wasting effort on things that harm ourselves and others.
I have tried to live this step for awhile now – giving and giving and giving and this is what lead me back to step one feeling the way I do. I am drained! I like to give and see the joy of those who truly appreciate it. Yet, even they do not truly know how to give back in kind so that my energy is not depleted. My family suffers finical, physically because everyone EXPECTS good old T to do it for free! To be the good ol boy! Even those who do not know me all that well. Those who say they are my friends and get all up in airs when “others” do the exact same thing. Then they will turn around and ask for “favors”, for “help” all out of the name of “friendship”. Yet if I did such a thing I would be expected to pay for the service or they wouldn’t have the time. So, perhaps I haven’t learned what “The Right Effort” is yet?
7. Right Mindfulness. This means being aware of our thoughts, words, and deeds.
I suppose I am learning this all over again. I thought I knew what this was and practiced it. But looking over the upper numbers in these lessons – perhaps I do not.
8. Right Concentration. Focus on one thought or object at a time. By doing this, we can be quiet and attain true peace of mind.
I use to be able to do this, my mind is wild these days. I feel like scratching my brain out of my head at times just to get it to quite down. I do not sleep and I barely eat. Even when I am asleep my mind is continually going. I need some quite time… This is another reason why I have not done much creation, much art.
I am working on being back in sync mentally, physically and spiritually – but until then my posts may be a bit scarce – I will post as I can.